You have challenged my honor

So, Miffy Shorts has totally slapped me with her blog-glove and challenged me to a duel. So, I will now answer said afront.

Let's start with the glaring absurdity of her post.
Why in the hell would she list NINE names? Is she crazy or just wish to be driven to it by the hormones of that many pregnancies and subsequent new people?

The pact is accurate and healthy, not cheerleader-style at all. I quite honestly believe that our children would be "mortal enemies" in a manner similar to us. Arguments, research, sometimes walking away because she's stubborn, or I'm right. It always ends with me coming to the accurate conclusion that camel doesn't go with black and her ignoring that but allowing me to talk. Healthy banter, your mom jokes, occasional non-stitches requiring beat downs, and political discord are part of a kids food pyramid. Right?
Yeah, that sounds right.

As for Miff's name choices, she did remember hers with acceptable accuracy. I think she forgot that I am as creative as a child in grade school but have the vocabulary of an atheist pirate hooker sailor Marine in a poop and incendiary firefight. So, I will share with my readers my obviously unheeded warnings to her:

• Prima is a terrible idea. Everyone finishes that sentence with Donna. Terrible. Unless it's a boy and he sings on Broadway, preferably in Jersey Boys.
• Ironhide does have a porn-star flair. I see camel-colored leather ass-less chaps with a fringe - but no black.
• Inferno is mine, regardless of where she "rents" for 9 months. Yes, she. So it is written and so it shall be. Deal.

As for my singular child, who will surely need at least a couple of your politically incorrect Autobots to hang with, she did forget a name or two. I've added my comments to my selections as well as the ones she forgot.

1. Megatron - there is nothing more that you can say to make this more awesome, unless you pair it with an equally dominant middle name. Caliber, Incendiary, Tannerite? I'm also considering selling this space.
2. Starscream - for a girl, who will be a fighter pilot. I'm hesitant to suggest the word "scream" be uttered near a tiny human, lest she get ideas.
3. Ramjet - who can star in movies with Miffy's Ironhide.
4. Rampage (accepted as a suggestion) - readers will come to learn that this can be my nature. I'm not sure I'd like to suggest this, but parents say they know their kids when they see them. If the kid's head-vein bulges when it cries, then it has my rage and we should probably warn people.

I also considered Barrage, Shrapnel, Overkill and Bonecrusher. I love the perceived personality (and cool ass car) of Barricade, but that just seems to be asking for the child to rip my funbox from navel to crack. Bonecrusher might have the same issue, so for my one and only, I'm leaning toward Megatron.

Anyone know where I could get red contacts for a fetus?