Recap of Day 3: I was awash in nausea. I made a spittoon out of a disposable coffee cup. I believe I went to the restroom 18 times in 8 hours of work. And, I was a quitter. I stopped the pink stuff and switched to just teal because there's no point in taking something for energy and fat burning when you can only run if you're willing to splatter paint with lunch + treadmill.
I switched to a lower dose version of the pink and started that today. No spit cup needed, and I'm only feeling like I did a line instead of a full sheet of college rule. We'll see how workouts go now.
So, cat poop assault story time!
I eat microwave meals. I work with thieves. Over about a one month period, I lost at least 2 lunches a week to one jackass. Once, okay fine, maybe it was a mistake, but every time I brought this chicken meal, without fail? Jackass. I wrote my name on it. Didn't help. I used the takes-8-hours-to-cook-in-a-communal-microwave-that-people-waste-their-lunch-waiting-to-use lasagna as a shield to make it harder to find. I put a note on it even telling the person if they needed it THAT much to simply call me and I'd give it to them willingly. They took the lunch and left the note. I tried reconnaissance, but the building area I'm in has about 400 people, I couldn't check every personal trashcan without it getting weird.
So, I got creative and I got even.
Have you ever really looked at a microwave meal? They're non-descript chunks with a few items that might have once been a chicken or cow, or pig butthole. This meal was rice, herbs and chicken chunks in a green sauce. The sauce hides a lot, and I have made my peace with that. I made my meal at home, carefully extracting it from the package, and very carefully removing the film only partially. I ate it and then using fresh cilantro, uncooked rice and litter covered cat shits, I replaced the contents of the meal. I glued the film back on and the package closed. I wrote my name on the meal, keeping up appearances. And I took it to work for "lunch."
I now know he or she is the type of person to set it and forget it with the pilfered meals, and the stench was nearly bad enough to warrant evacuation. Small price to pay for piece of mind... and piece of cat shit. To this day I do not know who was stealing my lunch, or if they still work there. I do however know they will not fuck with my lunches again. Justice is blind, but she has a sense of smell.
